She Was My Reflection: "Diary of a Silent Heart"

The past few months, I dedicated time to myself—to reflect not only on my life but also on where I stand emotionally. Today, I decided to close a chapter and conclude with the following lesson for the rest of my life: Love does not exist, and I say this with deep hatred in my heart and a furrowed brow. Wherever I go, or even in any place where I breathe, love fades away; and it’s not just in my head—it’s a fact, something I can feel. It’s as if my body were surrounded by thorns and my face carried an expression that repels even the toughest person. I took time to search for myself, but all I did was lose myself even more. I died in the arms of strangers, kissed prince charmings who promised me the world, but after one night, I never existed to them again. Honestly, I find it absurd that I live in a massive city, and no matter how well I present myself, no matter how many kind words come out of my mouth, I feel like I belong nowhere. And when I smile, it’s for no reason—I do it automatically, while inside, I am empty. And to you, because you know very well who I’m talking about—I will never forget how you used to boast about how excited you were when I talked about my projects, only to later mock me when I offered you the best version of myself. Or how you used to say you weren’t ready for a relationship, yet just weeks after everything ended, you left with someone else. I think what I really want to say is that love does exist, but there is no place for me in it, nor will there ever be. Because I am the kind of person who is always overlooked for someone else. I am the kind of person who, when looking for a seat, always finds it taken, always met with an excuse for why they are not welcome. I’ve always said that you should never speak with your mouth—you should speak with your heart. So, the words in this book are the things I once wished to say to him, hoping he would come back. But he never did. So instead of sending them to him and being rejected once again, I would rather share them with you. "And there I was, saying goodbye as my heart shattered into a million pieces. How could it not? I was letting go of the love I had ALWAYS wanted in my life..." Welcome to my 343 nights of vulnerability and intense pain. My book, She Was My Reflection: Diary of a Silent Heart, is now completely yours. Thank you, Juan Ventura.